


Undercover

by queerlyobscure (softestpunk)



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - All Fandoms
Genre: Other, Strippers & Strip Clubs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-18
Updated: 2012-06-18
Packaged: 2017-11-08 00:50:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/437311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softestpunk/pseuds/queerlyobscure
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No fandom is complete without a 'going undercover as a stripper' story. In this case, poor Steve is the one showing off his moves, much to Tony's (and everyone else's) delight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Undercover

About five minutes in, Tony realised that this was maybe not the best plan for an undercover mission any of them had ever had. On the other hand, it might well have been the  _best_ plan any of them had ever had.  
  
“Are you sure it’s not too small?” Steve turned around, trying desperately to get a better look at the red, white and blue jockstrap that made up the whole of his outfit at the moment.  
  
“Pretty sure it’s meant to fit like that.” Tony fought not to grin. “You’re meant to be showing off.”  
  
“I don’t mean to complain, but I’m feeling awfully exposed here.” Steve did another little turn in front of the mirror, like a puppy trying to catch its tail, and then sighed a defeated sigh and slumped his shoulders. For all that Tony was enjoying this from several viewpoints, he didn’t like to see Steve unhappy.  
  
“Hey, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I’m a little too recognisable to go in, but we can take another crack at Clint or just hope that Thor doesn’t start telling mead hall stories or something.”  
  
“No, it’s fine. I just keep looking up and seeing a skinny kid in a ridiculous... can this be reasonably called an outfit?”  
  
“I think Captain America has the advantage in terms of ridiculous outfits.” Tony smiled, hoping to cheer Steve up. “This might be good for you. When you come home with enough tips to solve the financial problems of a small European nation, I mean. Solve some of your image problems.”  
  
“Thanks, Tony. I don’t mean to be rude, but I guess you know about these things?”  
  
“What male strippers are supposed to look like? Sure.” Tony grinned. “You fit the bill.”  
  
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Steve smiled a tiny smile and grabbed the rest of his outfit to step into. “Thanks for helping me with this.”  
  
“I can genuinely say it was my pleasure.” Tony rocked on the balls of his feet as Steve took his time covering up.  
  


***

  
Being the most recognisable Avenger, Tony was on surveillance duty - a job he could easily have transferred over to Jarvis and tried out his best disguise, but he was determined to be present for Steve’s stage debut. He’d have a better view from the hacked security cameras, anyway.  
  
“How’s it going, team?” he asked over the comms.  
  
“I’m really not comfortable with this,” Bruce was the first to reply. “Just so that’s on the record.”  
  
“I am,” Clint piped up. Tony could see him settling in to watch the female warm-up as though he was a lion basking in the savannah sun.  
  
“I can tell.” Tony grinned to himself. “You’re a natural.”  
  
“And you’re not?” Clint retorted.  
  
“Did I say I wasn’t? You and I need to hang out more.”  
  
“No you don’t,” Natasha added. She was probably just upset that none of the boys had come out to play yet. But then she hadn’t really seen the genius in a strip club that catered to everyone, either, so maybe she just wasn’t used to it.  
  
Tony laughed, but stopped instantly when the lights went down. “Guys?”  
  
“I don’t-” Bruce began. He cut himself off as an announcement started.  
  
“And now ladies and gentlemen - Captain America!”  
  
Tony swallowed thickly. This was the part of the evening he’d been looking forward to, since the likelihood that he’d get to put on the suit was slim in this particular case. There was complete silence over the comms as the lights came back up again and Steve came on stage in his full - much sexier than usual, if that was at all possible - costume. They’d decided to pretend he was a Captain America tribute in the hopes that people wouldn’t realise that he did look a little  _too_ much like the real thing.  
  
“Jarvis, you’re recording this, right? Uh. In case something happens, I mean.”  
  
“Yes, sir.”  
  
Tony nodded and sat back to watch. He knew Steve had been through a couple of lessons for this, but he was a natural as well. The crowd cheered loud enough to drown out the music, and Tony’s throat went dry as Steve proved that his coordination hadn’t suffered at all for spending nearly seven decades on ice, hips swinging hypnotically.  
  
“Oh wow,” Tony breathed as he watched, gripping the sides of his chair.   
  
“Cap’s got moves,” Clint enthused. Tony shushed him as he kept watching, mesmerised by Steve’s swaying and gyrating. He could feel his breath coming in short pants, and he wasn’t going to think about anything going on below his waist.  
  
“You okay, Tony?” Bruce sounded concerned. That was nice.  
  
“Fine,” Tony managed in a strained voice. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I’m fine.”  
  
“Okay.”   
  
The ‘okay’ could have been more convincing, but at least no one was pushing on the subject. Tony was tempted to turn the comm off, but he couldn’t risk something going wrong if he did. Guilt didn’t sit easy on the shoulders of Tony Stark, so he tried to avoid it where possible.  
  
Tony whimpered and shifted in his chair as Steve started taking his clothes off. He noted that no one commented this time, which probably meant that either they were staring just as hard as he was, or they’d accepted that he apparently had a thing for Captain America.  
  
A soft ‘wow’ that he couldn’t define as coming from either Clint or Bruce let him know that the former was at least partly true. A tiny surge of jealousy welled up in his throat, but he swallowed it down and concentrated on watching again. The crowd became deafening as Steve’s leggings came off with a quick tug, and like a complete pro, he swung them around his head and then tossed them into the crowd.  
  
Natasha caught them. It was a testament to her general air of terror that no one tried to take them from her.  
  
Steve kept it up for a while, sequined underwear catching the light exactly as it was meant to for the rest of his number and doing nothing to distract anyone from his crotch. Tony wet his lips and wriggled in his chair, biting his lip to stifle a moan. He kept his eyes on Steve’s strutting backside all the way off the catwalk, finally taking a breath as he disappeared.  
  
His self-control lasted until Steve’s sequined, American flag jock strap landed on the empty stage, and he made a sound that was probably indicative of some part of his brain having melted. No one seemed to disagree with the sentiment.

 


End file.
